Early Saturday morning…
D: “So mom, how’d your walk down the trail go?”
M: “I guess these yoga pants are officially out of commission.”
D: “Why, what happened? Did you fall down?”
M: “Well, I scaled a mesh fence with two top layers of barbed wire, trespassed on someone’s property and undid part of their fence.”
M: “There was a deer with its foot caught between two wires and it couldn’t get free. He’d been there for a good while. Luckily some people parked somewhat near where I was and happened to have a metal stake in their truck. I finally got the fence undone so it would loosen enough to get his foot free.”
D: “Oh, you’re serious. I thought you were just telling me the scaling the fence and trespassing parts instead of just admitting you fell down and ripped a hole in your pants.”
Note to self: Apparently I use too much sarcasm regularly. Even my ninja stories are questioned.
Now, to fully appreciate the fact that I scaled this fence in my favorite yoga pants is knowing that I made it over without a scratch or rip. I was pretty proud of the fact that I had managed to get myself into the pasture unscathed. Because you would know that the deer had to be about two feet inside of the pasture so I had no chance of reaching him unless I could get myself in there.
As I’m working to unfasten the fence with only my bare hands and my sweater to act as a “glove” in the situation I was making some headway. I don’t know what I was thinking leaving my house without my trusty screwdriver to undo fence ties. Oh the things you forget when you’re going out for a quick walk down the trail… But, luckily the kind people who parked nearby were able to help.
It was probably one of the oddest things I’ve ever yelled at someone I don’t know, but, “Hey, do you have a screwdriver in your truck?” was exactly what came out of my mouth. Luckily the people had been staring at me long enough to figure out what I was doing, or that could’ve been pretty awkward.
I’m not sure if the fact that he carried a metal stake in his truck instead of a screwdriver made me feel better or worse. It did the trick though. Fence tie pried off, fence loosened, deer gets freedom.
So I put the fence back together and passed off the metal stake back to its owner. Then comes the easiest part of the whole process, getting back over. There is no mesh on the inside of the fence. So, all I have to do is climb up the gate and jump over, or that’s the plan.
What actually happens is me climbing up the gate, realizing there’s nothing to grab to hold onto at the top, and balancing myself to prepare for the jump down. And then there’s the jump. It was the most…well-planned moment, except for the part where I didn’t realize the mesh wire had small, sharp, knots at the top of the gate.
And small sharp things and yoga pants go together like peanut butter and jelly, my friends. My yoga pants magnetically (not really, but you get the drift) attracted to one of those little guys and hung on when I made my marvelous jump.
Yoga pants, my favorite yoga pants, now ripped right in the rear. The worst, unfixable possibility. So, what does a girl do? She takes that sweater off, wraps it around her waist and finishes her walk, head held high, proud of what she’s done (I’m speaking about getting the deer to safety, not the pants ripping thing.) So I thanked the nice people and went on my way.
What a beautiful morning to take a quick walk!
You got this!
P.S. Sometimes in the midst of disaster (or in the event of an unfixable rip in a favorite pair of yoga pants), we have to hold our heads high and be proud ninjas! Life is short — focus on the positives 🙂